Hey Billy,

Have you seen the Martin Jarvis site?
Who he?
What's he done - legendary Born To Be Mild??
What's he done with you?
If he played with SAHB at The Barras, which dress was he wearing?
Is he from Mars?
Answer please.

Doubting Thomas!

BILLY SEZ 

Dear Thomas The Doubter
Just seen Martin's site (courtesy of 8 of you) and he may be on Mars at the moment.
Firstly, Martin's ma pal, OK?
We recorded 'Drunken Nights In The City' at his place for Frankie's CD. Barry played bass, me & Jordan did guitars (Martin doubled my solo) and we (ie Martin & I) programmed the drums based on Bowie's 'Five Years'.
He wasn't with SAHB, he played with the house-band during my rendition of 'The Rock'.

Doubt no more, Thomas.  

Billy,

This 'Jarvis Cock(er)', he 'doubled your solo? Why didn't you?
Giving him something to do were you?
Who is this guy?

Still Doubting Thomas!

BILLY SEZ 

Dear Still
Eh, yup, guess so.
He's Martin Jarvis.  

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Hey Big-nose,

Programme my drums will ye?
I'll see you in court for this!

Colin Irvine (your drummer!)

BILLY SEZ 

Hi four on the floor,

Erm, I fall corrected.

Colin's 'artist'.  

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Hi Billy,

Was Martin the guy leapin' about behind you tryin'to be pally with Brian Robertson, looking a right prat.
I suspect so.

Andy

BILLY SEZ 

Hi Andy

Maybe, I wasn't looking, woz I?  

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Dear Billy,

Thomas the Doubter again!

Either you're talkin' crap or this 'Martian' Jarvis IS!
I've never heard of any of the bands he's played with in 'The Story So Far'. It reads like you helped him on the Miller track and backed him up at The Barras!
His interview (done with himself?) say's he'd send you to the pub for peace and quite (sic), can this be true?
I'm not going away, y'know!

Thomas the Endurer

BILLY SEZ 

Dear Endurer

Shit!

OK, I did frequent the local a lot, but only to let Martin get the kids to bed, then we worked.
My Frankie Gig Feature let's you know what I did, Martin can speak for himself.

Now go away and stop calling him Martian!

Billy.  

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Hey Billy,

We checked out Martin Jarvis' site.
Here's a quote for you from Mr Jarvis' 'Story So Far' (Story? What Story?) "Anyone can jump on a bandwagon", he scoffs. Why doesn't he jump back off yours & Frankie Miller's then, the hypocritical arsehole!

Loved your gig, by the way.

Stevie & Willie - Asda driver(s)

BILLY SEZ 

Dear Stevie & Willie,

I'm not answering this.
I know where you live!

Billy  

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WE SAVED THE BEST TILL LAST!

Hey Billy,

'Dream On' - McCafferty, Agnew, Charlton, Sweet.....Jarvis??

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